How God Used Rachel Hollis To Show Me My Lust for Privilege
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– 23 min read
If you’ve been on any corner of the internet over the last few days, you’re probably aware of the cliff that cancel culture has shoved Rachel Hollis off of as a result of a recent video she posted.
Over the weekend, the best-selling author and sought-after motivational influencer went viral for some controversial comments she made while on Instagram live, as she referred to her housekeeper as the one who "cleans her toilets" twice a week.
"Unrelatable" and "insensitive" was the overwhelming response of her viewers, who pointed out that her privilege was showing. Yet rather than owning her statements with empathy in recognizing how her words offended those financially struggling as a result of the pandemic and those who do domestic work, she responded with a video boasting about her privilege, which rang a bit like Donna Summer’s hit lyrics, “She works hard for the money, so you better treat her right.” She also had no shame about adding that she never set out to be relatable.
"What is it about me that made you think I want to be relatable?" Hollis said. "No, sis, literally everything I do in my life is to live a life that most people can't relate to. Most people won't work this hard. Most people won't get up at 4 a.m. Most people won't fail publicly again and again just to reach the top of the mountain. Literally, every woman I admire in history was unrelatable. If my life is relatable to most people, I'm doing it wrong."
The injury added to the insult many felt from her response was the caption of the video, where Hollis made mention of “unrelatable AF” women in history, like Harriet Tubman, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Oprah Winfrey, Amelia Earhart and Frida Khalo, to name a few. And as the comments section went OFF, she later posted an “apology” that felt more like an “everyone’s just hating on me” deflection, and went on to blame her team for her reactionary video.
I wonder though, should we really be surprised?
Much of the message she’s preached over the years has been about how you can live your best life, have what you want and do it all because after all, you deserve it.
We’re mad about her having the audacity to elevate herself above others in the name of hard work, but isn’t that what she’s actually been saying all along? To be privileged?
To get up and do something about why your life sucks, grab it by the reins, take control and make it happen for yourself?
So why, why then would we expect for her to considerately speak with honor about the notable hard work of the woman who helps clean her home if she herself subscribes to the ideology that work is a means to grab hold of power and privilege?
Why would we expect an apology that acknowledged the ways she was actually degrading the people in the shadows (like her housekeeper, powerhouse team and the many supporters she’s now offended) when her platform has been all about self?
I’m not one at all for tearing women down, and this post isn’t meant to do any bit of that. I get no joy out of feeling charged to talk about this. My intention, so we’re clear, is to address some of why this situation is so problematic, but to also point to the deeper issues concerning us, especially those who proclaim to be followers of Jesus.
I believe Rachel Hollis to be a woman made in the image of God who is just as wildly loved by him and in need of his forgiving grace as me. And I also believe her to be dead wrong for her hurtful commentary on her privilege and the gas-lit “apology” she posted–both of which have now been removed and replaced by a new apology, one many deem disingenuine. I don’t know the whole of her heart, and I won’t pretend to. We’re only privy to the portion of it that spilled from her lips so casually + condescendingly about her life, its luxuries and the people she has the privilege to pay to do the work that was implied to be beneath her.
All in all, I think the light this situation turns on for us is to be careful to test our teachers and the spirit behind them.
I find it no coincidence that I just read Deuteronomy 13 a few days ago, and it is eerily fitting to this whole sitch.
“If a prophet arises among you, or a dreamer of dreams, and gives you a sign or a wonder, and the sign or the wonder which he spoke (foretold) to you comes to pass, and if he says, ‘Let us follow after other gods (whom you have not known) and let us serve and worship them,’ you shall not listen to the words of that prophet or that dreamer of dreams; for the Lord your God is testing you to know whether you love the Lord your God with all your heart and mind and all your soul [your entire being].
You shall walk after the Lord your God and you shall fear [and worship] Him [with awe-filled reverence and profound respect], and you shall keep His commandments and you shall listen to His voice, and you shall serve Him, and cling to Him. But that prophet or that dreamer of dreams shall be put to death, because he has counseled rebellion against the Lord your God who brought you from the land of Egypt and redeemed you from the house of slavery, to draw you away from the way in which the Lord your God has commanded you to walk.” – Deuteronomy 13:1- 4 AMP
Now hear me right + well: I AM NOT saying we need to rally together in an “off with her head!” kind of witch hunt against Rachel Hollis. I know we tend to shy away from passages like these and the portions of scripture that are hard to stomach. However, if we sit in its tensions, it’s full of wisdom, especially for the bigger lesson this moment can teach us.
In the 13th chapter of Deuteronomy, Moses is breaking down idolatry to the Israelites, specifically admonishing them to be careful to not be so quick to follow those who seem to be trustworthy. He challenges them to not be lured away by people who look like they’ve got it together because they could very well be inviting them into rebellion against the True and Living God–to walk away from the only One who was powerful enough to deliver them from their former oppression + brought them into freedom.
Moses’ warning is both ancient and relevant as he calls our attention to be wary of those that seem harmless because they are prophets, or spokespersons representing God. He pinpoints the attractive appeal in us toward those who rise in popularity, especially those who convincingly communicate words that seem to be grounded in truth and seem, in and of themselves, to have the power to bring about transformational miracles and life-change. He warns us to not only be precautious of what we hear these “spiritual leaders” speak, but to also not be so quickly convinced at the sight of the results they seem to produce.
So even if someone seems to be full of spiritual insight, as if they’ve been face-to-face on the mountaintop with The Most High, they may actually be frauds.
Even if it seems like truth, their words may actually be seeped in half-truths + lies.
Even though they seem to have the ability to produce the results we long to see in our own lives, that doesn’t mean it was God’s power they tapped into to receive those “blessings.”
Back then and in the now, this test was/is sent to reveal what most matters to our hearts: God or ourselves. Like the glistening appeal of the forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden upon the one tree God said not to eat of, there is a temptation that dangles before us when we have the opportunity to choose to trust God and his way or our own, to follow his way or to forge our own path.
So I must ask, what proverbial trees have we been eating from?
What teachers have we acquired for ourselves?
Are they grounded in God and bearing the fruit of his Spirit? Or are they rooted in self?
Do they champion us to look more like Him or them?
Are we becoming more loving, peaceful, patient, kind, joyful, faithful, gentle, delighting in good and self-controlled when we take and eat from their trees? Or do we find ourselves more unforgiving, hateful, overly critical, heavily comparing + hustling to compete? Are we willing to cling to the truth and lay down our desires, or do we contort the truth if it justifies our selfish ambition?
These are all questions I’m currently asking myself of the many teachers, “experts,” preachers and influencers I follow online. I see how the covetousness of my own heart in wanting what they’ve got has actually put a dent in my identity in Christ, stolen my joy and killed off my ability to rest in the beauty of who God is and wholly trust his heart for me. So if there was any day where Jesus’ invitation to follow him rang relevant, babyyy, it’s now.
To be clear, I’m not on a soapbox as if I’m holier than thou, as if I’m too anything to fall for such temptations.
This is convicting the heck out of my heart because I can’t point a finger at Rachel Hollis without it boomeranging back at me. I cannot talk about her without owning the fact that at one point, I wanted to be her.
I’ve got a journal, its pages etched with lists of many wild, audacious wants (and if I’m honest, the building-my-kindgom kind of desires) from doing the renowned, “10 years, 10 dreams, 1 goal” visualization exercise–Hollis’ goal-setting formula she’s credited for how she’s been able to manifest the life she’s living.
I was one of the million-plus folks following her on Instagram.
I’d find myself binge watching many of her goal planning videos when the thick cloud of confusion about my purpose, frustration with my stuckness and discontentment about my present all loomed over my head. As a wife and mom of 3 under 5 who felt God was calling me to do big things, I honestly didn’t feel like he was giving me the clarity I wanted quick enough, and didn’t realize I was taking the gifts + callings that came from his hands into my own. I didn’t believe I was doing enough to make my dreams happen, so I sought out Rachel to give me some strategy on how I could get the momentum going.
Evidently, I’m not the only fish who has been reeled in by the Hollis hook. Writer Rebecca Hastings said it perfectly in her article about the girl-power guru:
“But even as I find myself inspired and equipped to set life goals (like how to wear white), I can’t help but wonder why she’s such a big deal. A lot of people are motivating. What is it about her?
Simply, Hollis is the woman many of us want to be.
Smart? Check.
Beautiful? Check.
Successful? Check.
Hot marriage? Great Kids? Amazing Style? Check, check, check.Hollis represents the woman who has it all. And if you follow her, she believes you can too. Her work boils down to this simple equation:
YOUR GOALS + HARD WORK = ACHIEVING DREAMS
We like people who believe in us, people who tell us like it is but push us to become better. We like people who are where we think we want to be.”
“You want help with setting and accomplishing goals?” Hastings wrote, “Hollis has you covered. You want to stop old patterns of thinking? She’ll challenge you to do so. You want to feel empowered? She’ll make you feel like you can do it all. But that’s where it falls apart: It’s all up to you. You do more, you hustle, you push, you achieve, you become. It’s all on you, for better or worse.”
This may not feel any bit of good to hear, and as a recovering people pleaser, it doesn’t feel any easier for me to say. But if we want to keep it all the way 100, the gospel of Rachel Hollis is a (literal) whitewashed version of witchcraft, a motivational allure into manifest destiny and “the American Dream.” It’s a prosperity gospel of sorts, where you can name, claim and work your way into making your vision, your dreams, your goals, your heart’s deepest desires tangible, and God ain’t gotta be nowhere in the mix.
“It’s alright to tell a man to lift himself by his own bootstraps, but it is cruel jest to say to a bootless man that he ought to lift himself by his own bootstraps.”
The element of race makes this even more convoluted, because Hollis’ comments were giving “pull up your bootstraps” vibes and a “we all have equal access to the same opportunities” sentiment. But if life is what we make it, if it’s solely on us to create our reality, if we have not because we hustle not, where does that leave the marginalized and the poor, who’s realities are literally shaped by factors outside of their control, like systemic racism + inequalities of every flavor? Where does that leave the single mom, the widow or divorcée? How does that resonate with the chronically ill or disabled?
How has Rachel been able to sit so high upon a pedestal of privilege that she’d feel comfortable to boast about the life she’s worked so hard for by namelessly referencing her maid in juxposition to her cleaning her toilets?
Why would she have the audacity to compare her “self-made” status and hard work to the hard of Harriet Tumban and other women of color who’ve had to fight + prove their whole way?
What would make her think that, “Someday I’ll learn. Not yet, apparently, but someday, I’ll learn” was the perfect segue to a half-hearted apology that sounded more like gaslighting and playing the victim of just being a hard-working woman who is misunderstood rather than owning the ways she has hurt and offended those she’s claimed to love?
Yes, it’s white privilege + fragility being played out in real-time.
But I think there’s something else simultaneously happening here, something that may ruffle our own feathers.
I know we’d like to think of Rachel as a real-life Regina George. But we can’t neglect to mention we are (or are capable of) being Cady Heron.
I actually think Hollis represents what all of us are capable of when we buy into this world’s way of living, when “the deceitfulness of wealth” and “the desires for other things” captivate our hearts, and our affection for + devotion to God, his good will and loving way is slowly, but surely, snuffed out.
What if Rachel Hollis isn’t the sole one who put herself upon that prideful pedestal?
What if we helped put her there?
We got the books that put her on the New York Times best-selling list.
We bought the conference tickets.
We downloaded + listened to the podcasts.
We watched the Youtube episodes.
We stocked up on manifesting journals.
We cannot vilify the monster of pride without owning the fact that we’ve fed it.
Rightfully so, we’re mad that Rachel has seemingly made an idol of herself. But we also have to own our part in buying into believing we, too, can be God for ourselves.
I’m in no way saying Rachel is the true victim here, or that some slack needs to be cut, or that she need not be confronted about the problematic tone + choice of words she spoke on social media.
What I am wanting to point out is how careful we need to be about the voices we turn our ears to, how careful we have to be about how we hear (Mark 4:23-25) so that we don’t fall for the allure of someone’s promises that tickle our ears and incite the lust for power in our hearts, causing us to fall away from the sufficiency of God’s love.
I think this whole blowup about Rachel Hollis is actually pulling back the curtain on a bigger problem, the problem of idolatry.
While we’re here, we may as well acknowledge that there have been many of us Christians who have tried to “have our cake and eat it too”–namely, loving Jesus while adding in a new age dash of this or that, whatever feels right. At the bare bones of our current culture’s brand of hustle, manifesting, spirit-guides and ancestral worship, and the root of prosperity-centric, best-life-now preaching in the church is…witchcraft.
Some may be ticked that I even had the nerve to associate the aforementioned with such dark territory. Others may have thought it harmless + innocent to make altars, chit-chat with spirits, or speak the good things they believe they deserve into existence.
But the problem with witchcraft isn’t that it’s wrong to acquire things that are good for us. The problem is when our distrust of God’s goodness, love, wisdom + power lead us to define that good for ourselves, and we use counterfeit spiritual power and/or humanism to gain whatever “good” we believe God’s withholding from us.
See, this cultural good news only offers a short-sighted hope that’s grounded in temporal power + pleasure. It crumbles beneath the winds + waves of suffering, injustice and trouble that Jesus promised we’d encounter as long as we’re in this fallen world among imperfect people.
We ain’t in heaven yet ya’ll, so I get how tempting it is to try our hardest to create our own version of heaven here on earth, one where hardship, pain, suffering and discomfort are absent–a desire I confess I have to lay down often. However, I’m seeing the solution to overcoming the challenges of this life are not to work and strive our way into picturesque perfection, the beachside brand of peace or the blissful ease of hired help, but to take heart + depend upon the All-Powerful God, Jesus, who overcame the world, despite its darkness.
The beauty of the true Gospel is that in God’s hands, all things–our sin, our failures, our worldly disadvantages, our incapacities + disqualifications, our suffering + pain–work together for our good, according to his purposes + glory. In our weakness, his perfect strength delights to dwell within us to empower us to know him, love him + love our neighbor as ourselves.
The Gospel of jesus christ points us to the only + truest Reality: that he, alone, is enough.
There isn’t enough money, enough relationships, enough social media followers, enough pleasure, enough books sold, enough of anything in this world that can satisfy the God-sized holes of our souls. Only an unending, unfailing, unlimited Source could love, keep and satisfy the whole of who we are.
“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God.”
Contrary to popular belief, you + I are not here on this earth to merely do or have what makes us happy or live the “best” life according to culture’s vain standards. We are here to do for the good of others + to bring God glory. And this online wildfire also reminds us how crucial it is to test the spirits, to really reevaluate where the teachers we follow are leading us–to God or to the god of self. Even Jesus said those who truly follow him will be known by their fruit, which looks like selfless, sacrificial love. I think the convicting caution that’s rising here is for us to be attentive to the trees we’re picking from and not being so quick to pluck their fruit and eat of it, especially if God said otherwise. Because though it may seem good, look good and taste good, it’ll be bitter to the soul and will ultimately bring about a death that we didn’t bargain for.
You + I cannot be so quick to look at Rachel Hollis and think to ourselves, I could never. I’d never do that. Money + fame do not change people, they just expose who they already are. And we cannot be so self-righteous to believe that if we had a couple-hundred thousand more Instagram followers or were able to sell-out venues or heard the praises of folks more than heart checks that we wouldn’t be just as bold in thinking our *ish doesn’t stink. Peter, one of Jesus’ closest friends, claimed he’d die for him, and yet was counted among those who left Jesus high + dry.
We cannot think for a moment that we’re not privy to the same pride and the inevitable tumble it brings. Instead, confess to God when pride is arising in your heart, be unafraid to be accountable in community and thank God for everything you have + everything you don’t.
So God, help Rachel to know the life she has isn’t because of her, but only because of You. And help us to not be so quick in throwing stones at her when our own hearts have a tendency to veer away from believing you’re enough. Search us, know us and open our eyes to the expanse of your love that we may not settle for lesser counterfeits. Rid us of every lie we’ve believed about you and forgive us for partnering with anything that says you’re not altogether holy + good, powerful, wise and right. Forgive us, and help us to trust you with the things we’ve tried replacing you with. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
