You Can Live Worthy

College-ruled journals.
Neon sticky notes.
Skinny book margins.
Note(able) phone apps.
Blogs on blogs on blogs.

Over the years, many words have poured out of this heart of mine.

I used to think every start-stop of a writing project was just me being terrible at consistency + discipline. But I think it had much more to do with the riskiness of being wildly vulnerable.

For much of my life, I believed my voice wasn’t worthy of being heard.

Writing + creativity have always been part of how I’ve found relief from life’s curveballs.

But shame always had a way of keeping me silent. And when I did speak, it bullied me into only talking about the on-the-surface, superficial kind of stuff–so much so that I bought into the lie that my story didn’t matter, and therefore, was unworthy of sharing.

And really, there’s some truth to that.

On its own, the pain of my past is both unique + familiar in comparison to the brokenness of others. My life’s narrative is riddled with insecurity, heartbreak–the caused kind + the effected kind–and looking for love in all the wrong places.

When a story like this blends in with the rest of hurting humanity, it may give a “me too” kind of comfort for a moment.
But ultimately, it is void of purpose.
Void of good.
Void of hope.

Yet what makes our stories worth sharing, what gives our life sacred value, is that there is someone who can “rewrite our histories with love…” if we’d let him.

And that someone is Jesus.

I’ve tried to be like everyone else.
I’ve tried holding it all together–even my deepest pain.
I’ve tried performing to earn God’s love + approval.
And I’ve failed time and again, miserably.

But Jesus is better than anything in this world I could strive for.

And it’s him who makes us worthy.
Him who breathes purpose + redemption into our lives.
Him who makes every part of our stories matter.

This space is for those who are finally coming to terms with the ego-shattering/soul-wrenching truth that they will never be enough...and that there’s a good God who knows that, loves ‘em anyway and made the Way for all to become his sons + daughters.

This space is for those who are weary of striving for perfection.

This space is for those who recognize their need for the Savior and are ready to let his reckless love in to do the heavy lifting.

We’ll probably always miss the mark at being who the world tells us to be.
And we’ll always fall short of Perfection.

But as we lean on + lean in to Jesus, we can kill it at being us–God’s kids–and can live full lives, overflowing with his love.

Given my track record, I don’t know how long this blog will last.

But my prayer is that it’s a place of not merely inspiration, but empowerment. A space full of stories + lessons learned from a fellow hot mess in progress that aren’t just for “me too”s but for “I can”s.

As I let God’s love wreck me in the best way, I hope he wrecks you too.

xxoo,
kam